The Dot Com Miner

Do opposites really attract? I believe there is some truth to this. At first the euphoria of a new relationship brings much elation and happiness, even in a relationship that is unpredictable as is with opposites. But after five years into the marriage will this now “old found love” still be alive and strong, and will these opposites still attract each other?

The first thing young people should know before getting married is that there is no such thing as Cinderella and Prince charming marriages. It just doesn’t work like that. At first the slipper fits, but later, after trials and tribulations, the slipper becomes too small.

There are no exceptions to this rule.

It is very crucial that couples develop and grow together through the daily grind of work, career, children, circumstances, and marital issues that can and will affect marriage tremendously.

Couples should believe in the same issues and concerns that become readily apparent in marriage. They need to deeply and thoroughly discuss the subjects of career, family, religion, etc, before saying those “I do’s”.

For younger couples who have never been married before, I really want to stress how important it is to communicate how you both feel about certain topics of importance and the roles each of you will assume in the marriage.

Lets take a look at just a few compatibility issues that might affect couples during marriage.

1) Your future husband thinks he would like to hunt for the sport of it, and is now an avid hunter and happy camper in the woods, but you have become involved in the conservation of animals. Will you know how to handle this incompatibility issue every time it comes up in your marriage? Or would you want to?

Unless you can come to an agreement of some sort about this major difference in character, then I don’t think you should get married.

2) Your future husband wants three or four children, but you’re not sure about even having one child! Are you willing to compromise your own wants and needs and give in to your husband’s desires? If not, I would advise you to hold off on getting married.

3) Your future wife has taken the position that she wants to have a career and maybe adopt a child later. You want her to stay home with your children. Is this going to work? No, it is not, and again, this can become a major problem in the home if it isn’t cleared up before marriage. If the issue cannot get resolved, I don’t think you should get married.

4) Your future wife is a Catholic and you are a Mormon? Are you prepared to deal with the stresses involved in such religious variation? Or maybe you will marry anyway and think you can change their beliefs after you’re married? Think again.

With these few compatibility issues all said and done, I still believe that two people can be opposites, and the marriage still be spiritually and mentally healthy.

It all boils down to the people in the marriage. Couples who are mentally and spiritually healthy are better equipped to deal with major issues that will involve them throughout the marriage.

Meaning, the marriage is based upon the foundation of love, commitment, honor, trust, and acceptance. These aspects for a sound and healthy marriage are what God designed marriage to be based upon!

On the flip side, if couples are going through problems of incompatibility there is no room for self-righteous behavior or control issues. This kind of behavior will wreck havoc during matters of difference. If a spouse becomes too intolerant and self-righteous the couples in the marriage cease to grow together and differences NEVER get resolved.

So what can we do BEFORE getting married that will help the marriage to be healthy and strong?

Lets ponder some pre-marital questions.

1) What will your responsibilities be in the marriage? Discuss together and share your thoughts with your future husband/wife. Agreement on these issues is very important. Know before hand what you’re getting into.

2) Express issues of importance with each other through proper communication. No marriage can withstand the perils of miscommunication or no communication at all.

3) Know what your spouse expects from you. What will your role be? What will your responsibilities be? What do you want for your marriage?

4) Know that you will be committed to you spouse through think and thin. If you go into marriage thinking that you can always get a quickie divorce, you have already gotten a divorce before you even said your “I do’s”!

5) Faults come out after marriage. Be prepared. Accept your new spouse for who they are.

It all comes down to taking your position in marriage seriously. Today many couples walk halfheartedly into marriage thinking they can get out of their responsibilities whenever they want. But this is wrong thinking and should not even be an option. Will the glass slipper ever fit?

Angie Lewis, author of new release, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled

http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/
ISBN 1413788904

http://www.heavenministries.com/

Available Amazon and any online bookstore.

One of the big telecommunications tools that is gathering momentum nowadays is audio conferencing. We often feel the need to talk with more than one person at the same time, be it for business reasons when we want our entire team to learn of our new office developments at the same time, or inviting guests to our anniversary, or just hanging out with out close buddies over the telephone. This is what comes true only with audio conferencing. Audio conference calls lets multiple users communicate with each other. The good thing is that this good thing doesn’t seem all that highly priced as it sounds to be. It is well within the reach of pretty much everybody, be it a big shot executive or a poorly paid clerk. Everybody can take full advantage of audio conferencing!

Websites like Conferindia provide audio conferencing services in 21 countries across the globe! Now although that isn’t anything spectacular, but it certainly isn’t all that bad. The need for audio conferencing today is indispensable, how often we need to talk to our spouse when she/he is out or talk to our business associates to carry out important business tasks. We may not always want to wait for as long as it would take for them to check their mail and definitely not by post. Audio conferencing can be done cheaply, quickly and is a direct communication between the persons involved, not just paper worked out text!

Divorce is not like a volcano. One fine day, we find that a volcano has erupted. Divorce happens over a period of time. The relationship breaks down continuously and we realize that life can no longer be lived together. Many couples wake up when the break down has become total. That becomes very difficult to save the marriage. After that they spend endless nights worrying about what to do - To go for divorce or not? Why not to take care of the relationship today and find out how it is and what care it needs. What changes will make it better? And improve it before it reaches the brink?

Ask questions such as - Am I happy in my marriage/ Is my partner happy? Am I emotionally satisfied? What about my partner? Is marriage giving us joy or pain? Are we still in love? Is one of us feeling victimized? Shall we grow together till our old age? Are we loyal to each other? What kind of relationship do we share now? Are we feeling sick of each other? And so on. Raise as many questions about your marriage, yourself and your partner as you can think of. Take some online tests and quizzes on marriage and relationship. That will give lot of thought to your mind.

As you think of questions, you will start thinking more deeply about where you are heading. Find out all that is going wrong. Try to improve that. Discuss with your partner about what you think. Find out all that is going right. Make it still better. Think, plan and act. Before thinking, test your marriage in all the possible ways. Wake up now. Tomorrow may be too late.

CD Mohatta writes for ecards and online greetings, screensavers and desktop wallpapers. He also writes his blog on holidays - holidaystocelebrate.blogspot.com The topics of his writings include love, inspiration, holidays, birthdays, nature, religion and spirituality, success etc. You can have his writings on your desktop with free desktop wallpapers. These are static wallpapers which can be your computer desktop background all the time. Read the messages and get inspired all day. He also writes on Love, Marriage and Dating This website is a guide on dating, love, relationship, romance, marriage, and break ups.

A little strategizing can go a long way when trying to cut down on spending for the big day. Invitations, flowers, and music can cost a small fortune but by making some adjustments to these elements you can have an elegant wedding without breaking the bank.

The Invitation is the first taste your guests will get of the type of wedding to expect. Formal weddings will have the formal invitation and a more laid back wedding will have an informal invitation to reflect the setting and mood of the day. When ordering the stationary you should keep in mind how many invitations you need, order half of the number of guests with an extra 10-15 to provide for the single guests and any mistakes you make and maybe a few extra envelopes just incase. It is more costly to reorder another batch rather then order an extra 10 or so, remember the minister and the wedding party receives an invitation also.

Order all of your wedding stationary together, decide if you are going to order your placement cards and thank you cards also, this will probably get you a discount and it will save on the proofing. If you have any special features on the Invitations such as shells, feathers or ribbon buy it and do it yourself ask your family or friends to help, this could save you a couple of hundred dollars on labor. Keep in mind that using different color print can cost extra contrasting colors can look good but bump up the price, you can achieve the same effect by using different shades of color of the card its being printed on, maybe a gold print on a pale gold or yellow card can be just as stunning or take a few lessons in calligraphy and hand write the invitations adding a special touch.

The Facts about Flowers

Flowers that are in season cost less than flowers that are not, Orchids cost more than roses these are general facts, but did you know that flowers cost 20 - 30% more around the holidays including Mothers day, Valentines day, Easter and Christmas keep this in mind when considering a holiday wedding date.

Also low centerpieces cost less than high centerpieces so consider using a mixture of both, make sure to add luscious foliage to the center pieces this has a stunning effect and will cut the cost of extra flowers. Take advantage of the candles and other accessories offered by the reception venue, as it is a lot cheaper than hiring candles and extras from an outside company.

Do not over do it on flowers for the church. The church is usually presented beautifully enough on its own and you will be there for less than an hour so spend your money on the reception area and center pieces, as guests will be there for up to 5 hours.

Make your own table overlays instead of renting them. Ask a sewing relative to help. You can create some beautiful effects using organza or silk.
The bridesmaid bouquets can consists of several large blooms that are in season such as peonies in spring and hydrangeas in summer and add some pretty foliage, this will cut the cost of lots of expensive flowers.

This is okay for the bridesmaids but do not skimp on the bridal bouquet, this bouquet will be captured in all the wedding photos so each time the bride glances at that framed photo of her special day she should see the flowers she always wanted in her hands.

Merry Music

This will be a reflection of your own personal choice; the cost will involve the number of musicians and the number of playing hours. Obviously a 12-person band will cost more than a stringed quartet. Once you decide on the type of music you want you need to decide how long you require the musicians there is usually a minimum number of hours they will play so decide if you wand to use them for the hour long ceremony and the pre reception cocktails as well. The number of musicians you require also bump up the price so make sure you only have what you need, sometimes musicians in the band can play an instrument also and if the reception area is small or if the acoustics are good you can cut down on some of the musicians in the band, this will lower the cost.

Consider using a DJ instead this would cost about $500 - $600 compared to the band which could set you back between $1000 and $1500 depending on the amount of musicians and how long they will be playing. Don’t be afraid to shop around you can find a cheaper band in your local collage costing half the price of the pro band, be sure to hear them play first, maybe go and see them playing a gig and if you like them why not hire them.

About the Author
Declan Tobin is a successful freelance writer providing advice on purchasing a variety of
Wedding Dresses which includes
Wedding gowns,
Designer wedding gowns,
and more! His numerous articles provide a wonderfully researched resource of interesting and relevant information for all of your wedding interests.

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.

Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?” On and on.

Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

Maybe your daughter has come to you starry-eyed and announced her engagement, talking about all kinds of plans for a big, splashy wedding. Or your parents are looking forward to their golden wedding anniversary, and as the “glue” that binds the family together, you’re being looked upon by your brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles as the natural choice to pull off a big anniversary party. Maybe you’re responsible for a long-awaited family reunion, or a reunion of your husband’s army buddies, or the annual firefighters’ association banquet.

Reasons for throwing a major social event are infinite. The trouble is, pulling together a wedding reception, anniversary party, or reunion can be a complicated affair. Renting and decorating a banquet hall, finding entertainment, hiring a caterer, choosing the menu, creating and sending invitations - all take time as well as money; and with the busy schedules we all lead today, it can be a major commitment of energy as well as time and money.

Make it easy on yourself!

Contracting with a full-service banquet facility which offers event planning expertise can simplify the process immensely, while creating an attractive and festive environment sure to impress the participants. A competent event planner can also guide you through the process of coordinating your event. She can help you develop a budget for your affair, and then present alternatives, including ideas for décor, menus, and entertainment options. While an event planner can’t take all the responsibility for your special event off your shoulders, she can certainly save you a lot of wasted time and effort and help you avoid the pitfalls of event planning.

When you’re contracting with a banquet facility, make sure you take into account the events that need to take place there. A wedding generally has a band, orchestra, or DJ with music and dancing; a reunion or wedding anniversary may need some kind of AV equipment and a projection screen for showing family photos or home movies.

Many brides-to-be want a formal wedding in a church, with a reception to follow in a second location; but others are happy to hold both wedding and reception in the same place, and many facilities provide a wedding chapel or other wedding hall in addition to the reception area. In this instance, the facility event planner can coordinate the entire process, from wedding to reception.

Arranging for accommodations for out-of-town guests can be an added responsibility. If you’ve chosen a facility which is part of a hotel, making overnight on-site accommodations for your out-of-town visitors can be a major convenience, both for them and for you; and there’s a possibility that you’ll be able to arrange for group discounts.

Keep your most important priorities in sight.

Remember, hiring a full-service banquet facility and event planner isn’t supposed to complicate your life, it’s supposed to make it easier. The most important thing is that all of the event’s participants - including you - enjoy yourselves. Let the event planner worry; that’s what she’s hired to do!

Aldene Fredenburg is a freelance writer living in southwestern New Hampshire. She has written numerous articles for the Internet and for local and regional publications. She can be reached at amfredenburg@yahoo.com.

Living in the US makes one feel free to do anything, free to
live, free to love, free from traditions. And while this is
true, there are still many practices done during wedding that
renders this memorable event with a distinct American touch.
Here are some of them:

Starting from the engagement, Americans can think of unique ways
to personalize their wedding. As there really isn’t any
engagement tradition, the more unique the marriage proposal is
done, the better.

For most wedding preparations, the engaged couple visits their
parents to notify them of their recent engagement.

At times, the engaged couple hosts an engagement party. The
engagement party costs less than a wedding reception since most
of the time, the menu will only include cocktails and hors
d’oeuvres. Therefore, if the couple is on a tight budget, they
can just invite more guests to the engagement party if they plan
to limit the number of guests during the wedding.

Most wedding preparations have a bridal shower given by the maid
of honor and the bridesmaids. The groom may also have a bachelor
party the night before the wedding but he has to be careful not
to drink too much.

Wedding invitations should include response cards to quickly
inform the couple whether the person has accepted or declined
the invitation. The wedding invitations should also be sent
within four to six weeks before the event.

Usually, there is a rehearsal dinner in which the wedding party
and guests came from far places to be present at the wedding
attend. It was the practice that the groom’s parents pay for
this dinner.

A bridal luncheon may be hosted for the bride’s attendants
during the wedding day. However, time constraint may not permit
this to be part of the schedule for the wedding day. Likewise,
the groom may also host a groom’s dinner for his groomsmen.

Interestingly, even if the couple is not very religious, they
still prefer a religious ceremony. However, this may pose a
problem since in America people of different faiths and
religious backgrounds get married.

Even if there are few people who believe in bad luck, some
couples still make sure that the groom does not see his bride
until she starts waking on the aisle.

It is still practiced that the groom and his groomsmen enter the
church through a side door. The bride will then walk down the
aisle with her father. In some cases when both her father and
stepfather brought up the bride, she may ask them both to escort
her.

During a formal reception, there is usually a bridal table where
the couple and the attendants sit. Also, food and drinks should
be served as the guests appear at the reception.

Before, gift giving used to depend on what the guest will feel
useful for the couple. Now, it is better to register for gifts
so the guests will know what to bring that the couple will need.

Upon receiving an engagement or wedding gift, it is better to
send a thank you note apart from saying “thank you” to the
giver. This should be sent within two weeks upon receipt of the
gift. Make a personalized thank you note, instead of using an
impersonal generic thank you note.

These are just some of the many American practices during
weddings. Whether one chooses to this or prefers to have a very
different wedding, what’s more imperative is that American’s
still believe in the wedding vow, “For better or worse, ’til
death do us part.”